


An Open Door

by broken_fannibal



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hugs, Nightmares, Platonic Cuddling, Whump, Worried Arthur, or is it a prophecy? who knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 04:56:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17094329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broken_fannibal/pseuds/broken_fannibal
Summary: Merlin had a terrible nightmare and Arthur is bad at showing he cares.





	An Open Door

It was strange. Neither he nor Gwen had seen Merlin since last night.

Now he knocked at the door of the physician’s chambers but no one answered. So he stepped inside and looked around.

Gaius wasn’t there. And he couldn’t see Merlin either. The door to the small room at the back stood open. After a moment of hesitation, he went up the stairs to take a look.

And there he was. He sat on the bed in a spot of sun that shone through the little window. Motionless. He didn’t react to Arthur’s footsteps.

Had he even heard them?

“Merlin?” Arthur asked.

Merlin jumped and turned his head. It took him a while to register what he saw. “I’m sorry.” He turned around. “Do you need me for something?” He couldn’t imagine any other reason Arthur would come looking for him.

“Well, you didn’t show up this morning and Gwen said she hadn’t seen you yet.”

Merlin looked at him with raised eyebrows. There was a strange tone in Arthur’s voice.

“It’s not like I was worried or anything.” Arthur blurted out. When Merlin just went back to staring at the floor, he took a step closer. No reaction. He sat down next to Merlin. “What happened?”

“I didn’t sleep very well.” Merlin mumbled. It wasn’t entirely the truth but it would have to do. Not that Arthur cared anyway.

“Hm.” Arthur stayed quiet for a while. Then he bumped his shoulder against Merlin’s. “Well, get up. You need to help me put on my armour.”

Merlin gave a heavy sigh. He just wanted to crawl back under his blanket. Their knees were touching and he could feel the warmth. It was a stark contrast to his own skin. He closed his eyes for a moment. It was so warm. So alive. He took a deep breath. He wouldn’t cry now.

Arthur noticed the slump of Merlin’s shoulders, the sadness in his expression.

“Come on, Merlin. I can’t put it on myself.” He looked over at Merlin but made no move to get up.

Merlin tensed up, his breath grew shaky. He closed his eyes again, focused on breathing.

Arthur frowned. He was about to ask what was going on when Merlin bit his lip and sniffled. He was crying. Suddenly, his chest felt like it was filled with ice water. Arthur turned towards him and reached for Merlin’s shoulder. Not sure what he would do next. But there had to be something.

At first, Merlin jumped but then leaned into the touch. He couldn’t help it.

It was so warm.

When Arthur’s hand came to rest on the middle of his back, a sob escaped his throat. He couldn’t stay upright anymore, his body tipped.

Arthur frowned. What was he doing? He caught Merlin, one hand on each shoulder.

Merlin raised a hand to wipe his tears away.

Arthur‘s mind raced, he still didn‘t know what to do. He pushed Merlin upright and let go of him. But he immediately fell forward again. This time when Arthur tried to catch him, he wasn’t quick enough and Merlin’s head rested against his shoulder.

He sat there, Merlin crying in his arms, and wondered what was going on that it was this bad.

“Merlin?” he asked into the quiet.

Nothing.

“Merlin, what happened?”

Merlin sniffled again and leaned back a bit. His voice was rough and quiet when he spoke. “A nightmare.”

“Oh.” his tone was a little softer now.

Merlin took a shaky breath. “I- you-“ his breath hitched. “Y-you died. And there was- there was nothing I could do. I tried e-everything but you just... slip- slipped away. An- and then I-” His voice broke and he was shaken by another series of sobs. Thinking about it hurt so much.

He sagged forward, leaning against Arthur’s chest. It was so soft and warm. Then he felt Arthur’s hand on his elbows, a hesitant touch.

Since he didn’t know what to do or what was appropriate, he stayed still and let Merlin rest against him.

Merlin could feel the tiredness envelop him. He didn’t have the energy to stay awake any longer.

Arthur felt Merlin go limp, he struggled to push him upright again. Even though he looked so skinny, Merlin was surprisingly heavy.

He carefully guided him to lie down. Arthur winced when Merlin’s head bumped against the wall. One of his hands fell off the side of the bed.

He had no idea how Merlin managed to sleep in such a small bed. He tugged the blanket out from under Merlin and covered him with it.

In the doorway, Arthur lingered for a moment, looked back at him. He realised that he was worried. Worried about Merlin. He couldn’t help watching him a while longer. It was no use standing here, he shook his head. Merlin was asleep. It was best if he just got on with his day.

After another moment of hesitation, he quietly closed the door and left.

 

The whole day, even during his training with the knights, Arthur found his thoughts wandering back to Merlin. Was he alright? Surely Gaius was with him now. But what if he wasn’t? What if Merlin sat up there in his small room all alone? It hurt to think about it. Hopefully, he could go check on Merlin after the training.

 

Merlin woke up sometime around midday judging by the position of the sun. When he got out of his room, Gaius sat at one of the tables.

He looked up when he heard Merlin. “How are you feeling?”

Merlin shrugged and looked around in search of something to eat.

“Arthur was here not too long ago. He asked me to tell you that he wants you to bring him dinner tonight.”

Merlin rolled his eyes and sighed. Apparently, he didn’t deserve more than one moment of rest.

 

It surprised him that night when Arthur asked him how he was. He hadn’t brought it up before. Why now while he undressed? Had he just remembered what happened and felt obligated?

“Better.” Merlin said. Best keep it short. Arthur wouldn’t want to know the details anyway. Instead, he focused on putting the shirt away.

Arthur was quiet for a while. Then he said: “You seemed very upset this morning.”

“I was. It was a nightmare.” he answered.

Arthur huffed. That didn’t go the way he’d thought it would.

He put on his nightshirt and went over to Merlin who extinguished the candles by the windows. If only he knew how to tell Merlin that he cared, that he was here if he needed to talk. He softly kicked Merlin’s boot with his foot.

Merlin looked at him, frowning.

“I want you to be well tomorrow.”

Merlin sighed, his shoulders slumped. “I will be, always am.” For a moment he had actually hoped Arthur cared. Stupid. With a lump in his throat and a cold, heavy feeling in his gut, he went to put out the other candles.

Arthur watched him leave. It hadn’t helped had it? Merlin didn’t seem to have understood.

Merlin took a shaking breath. He would not cry. Not in front of Arthur. Not again. He looked up to check all the candles were out. “Do you ne-“ his voice hitched. “Do you need anything else, Sire?”

“No. That is all.” He walked over to his bed. Just as he lifted the cover, he heard Merlin sniffle. Arthur froze in his movement. Was Merlin crying? Why was he crying? Was it because of him? Something he had said? He looked up but Merlin had already left. What should he do now? Leave him be? Or go after him? That, at least, was an easy choice. Arthur quickly got off the bed and ran out into the hallway. Merlin was nowhere to be seen. A guard just walked past his door. He ran up to him. “Where did my servant go? Which way?”

“That way, Sire.” He pointed in the direction he came from.

Arthur turned and ran after him. Maybe Merlin was going to the physician’s chambers, to his own room. One turn. And another- There! “Merlin!” he called and ran towards him.

Merlin jumped. He quickly wiped over his face and turned around. Arthur came sprinting towards him at full speed. In his sleep clothes and barefoot.

Merlin wondered what he had done wrong now.

Arthur stopped, breathing hard. He stared at him. “So you are crying.”

He frowned. Whatever he had expected, it wasn’t this.

“Merlin, why are you crying?”

Merlin took a shaking breath. His voice failed him, but he didn’t know what to tell him anyway. So he shook his head and started walking again.

Arthur grabbed his arm. “Is it because of the nightmare?”

Merlin slowly turned around again. A nod.

“Let Gaius give you a sleeping draught.”

He couldn’t look at Arthur. Every time when it seemed like he might care, something like this happened. Merlin nodded, his heart clenched painfully. “Don’t worry, I’ll be alright again tomorrow.” His voice was cold.

Arthur’s head jerked back. Merlin really did not understand, did he? He tried to think of something to say but the words slipped through his fingers. He took a deep breath and pulled Merlin into a hug.

Merlin jumped and made a startled noise. Before he even realised what had happened, he was pressed up against Arthur, broad arms wrapped around him.

Just as Merlin began to relax, he pulled away. He couldn’t help it, he chased the touch, the warmth.

Arthur saw it, saw Merlin’s half-closed eyes. “Follow me.” With that, he turned and started walking back to his chambers.

Merlin frowned but followed him. What was he planning now? Once inside, he closed the door behind himself and waited.

Arthur stood in the middle of the room, hands twitching by his sides.

He hadn’t thought this through. Damn it. He took a deep breath to-

“Why am I here?” Merlin asked quietly.

There was a coldness in his voice that made Arthur’s heart ache.

“I thought you might want another hug.” He blurted out.

Merlin’s head whipped up. He couldn’t believe his ears. “What?”

Arthur turned away. “You heard me.” This was awkward enough as it was.

“Yes.” He swallowed and slowly came closer. Oh, how he wanted another hug. But he still wasn’t entirely sure Arthur wasn’t just messing with him. That he wouldn’t laugh at him and tell him how stupid he had been to believe he cared.

Deep down he had hoped Merlin would make the first step, but of course, he didn’t. After another moment of hesitation, he reached for Merlin and pulled him close.

Merlin felt his breath being knocked out of him when he crashed into Arthur’s body. Broad arms wrapped around him, enveloped him. And he couldn’t help it. He felt tears prickle in his eyes. His hands clenched in the fabric of Arthur’s shirt before he even realised he had raised them.

Arthur almost jumped. Well, this was a surprise. He hadn’t expected Merlin to react this way, to cling to him like this. Could it be a sign of how much he needed this? Arthur felt warmth spread in his chest. The idea that he was able to comfort Merlin made him smile.

Then he felt Merlin shake. He was crying again. Arthur wrapped his arms tighter around him, caressed his back.

A sob escaped him. He couldn’t hold it back. This was as close as he had ever gotten to actual comfort in a long time. Arthur’s embrace was so warm and soft and now he was caressing his back and it was too good to be true.

A while after Merlin’s sobs had died down, Arthur wanted to ask if he felt better now. But before he could, Merlin collapsed in his arms. His body sagged and Arthur had a hard time holding onto him. But he managed. He dragged Merlin to the bed and heaved him onto it. 

When Merlin woke up, his eyelashes were stuck together. He rubbed over his eyes and then looked around. Why was he in Arthur’s chambers? 

Oh. Right. The hug. 

He shook his head. He should leave. And it was already morning, he really should get going. Carefully, he shifted and shuffled towards the edge of the bed. 

Arthur grumbled behind him. “-ere d’you think you’re going?” 

Merlin stilled and turned around. Arthur stared at him, frowning. 

“I was leaving.” he said quietly. 

“I can see that.” He rolled onto his side. “But why?” He looked directly into Merlin’s eyes. 

“It’s already morning. I need to get your breakfast. And Gaius will be wondering why I didn’t come back last night.” 

Arthur groaned and slumped back onto the mattress. “Fine. But hurry up.” 

Merlin frowned. He put on his boots. What was going on in Arthur’s mind? Was he imagining things or had it seemed like he didn’t want him to leave? 

Arthur stared at the ceiling when he heard the door close again. It had surprised him how much he had wanted Merlin to stay here with him. He rolled back onto his side and touched the space where Merlin had been. The bed was still warm. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> (can you tell I have a thing for one character passing out in the others arms?)


End file.
